JUST SHUT UP!

So at College I take Film Studies. I must me one of the few minority in my class that takes it seriously as it seems that the majority of the class are second years who have taken it to fill in the gaps in their subjects. Well thats not the problem, If they want to not bother and probably get nowhere with it, fine.

The problem is a certain potato headed colleague of mine who would complain if Barack Obama came in the class and made him leader of the free world!
For instance were looking at the way colour is used in the film, so we watched the scene in The Wizard Of Oz  in which dorothy enter Oz and every shot is suddenly colour. This is a Classic scene and i can imagine the amazed faces of those around me if it was 70 years ago and I was watching it in the cinema.
But what does he say. "Its so stupid and unrealistic, the plants look like plastic." UNREALISTIC? which part of a movie about a talking Scarecrow, Lion and Tin Man fighting a evil Witch with Flying Monkeys is realistic?
The Wizard Of Oz is not a documentary!

We watch Scream to examine the fast shots but this brings him on to say "HA he stabs her in the boob in Scary Movie thats the best film ever." this is when i realise hes that kind of person, the kind that would go out his way to watch Vampires Suck or Meet The Spartans, and actually think they're funny. Tssss.

We then watch a clip of Pulp Fiction to examine shots. "Its a really crap film, he says," now this annoys me but the teacher says "we don't use tat language in this class."
"Its Really......Bad,"
"No its not that you can't criticize something but you have to back it up."
"Ok then in my Professional opinion its a crap film cos I got bored."
Excuse me? One of the best films of all time. Voted by COUNTLESS critics. REVILUTIONARY in the way it was made. Now i know im supposed to accept people's opinions but this is pushing it.


Now in a world in which Scary Movie is the best film ever and Pulp Fiction is crap "cos I got bored," is not a world i belong in. Someone bye me a rocket.

The Jeremy Kyle Show

Jeremy Kyle, where to start? this man annoys me. He apparently helps people's lives. I thought WOW if he can do that in just an hour with his lack of social skills  and turned someones life around think of what i can do to the less fortunate people in my community. 

So i went into the estate round the corner and told people that they were "pathetic," and "not worthy of inhaling the air i breath......" 

It didn't seem to work the way i hoped. Especially knowing that its bonfire season and their pockets are filled with explosives. 

After my encounter i seemed to realise that i didnt have what Jeremy has a clapping audience. I brought my little brother along. He now says he'll never leave the house again.

At this point i was a bit annoyed! I had no idea what made Mr Kyle so succsesful"changing people's lives,"so i thought i'd overview his show. 

People go on a show, Jeremy makes them look stupid by shouting, Jeremy uses DNA or a Lie Detector to continue making them look stupid. Mum wouldnt let me have a lie detector so I decided to give my contributions to society a rest.

All that I gained from this is that I figured out that if a angry man shouts at chavs, good TV is made.

If thats good TV someone shoot me.