JUST SHUT UP!

So at College I take Film Studies. I must me one of the few minority in my class that takes it seriously as it seems that the majority of the class are second years who have taken it to fill in the gaps in their subjects. Well thats not the problem, If they want to not bother and probably get nowhere with it, fine.

The problem is a certain potato headed colleague of mine who would complain if Barack Obama came in the class and made him leader of the free world!
For instance were looking at the way colour is used in the film, so we watched the scene in The Wizard Of Oz  in which dorothy enter Oz and every shot is suddenly colour. This is a Classic scene and i can imagine the amazed faces of those around me if it was 70 years ago and I was watching it in the cinema.
But what does he say. "Its so stupid and unrealistic, the plants look like plastic." UNREALISTIC? which part of a movie about a talking Scarecrow, Lion and Tin Man fighting a evil Witch with Flying Monkeys is realistic?
The Wizard Of Oz is not a documentary!

We watch Scream to examine the fast shots but this brings him on to say "HA he stabs her in the boob in Scary Movie thats the best film ever." this is when i realise hes that kind of person, the kind that would go out his way to watch Vampires Suck or Meet The Spartans, and actually think they're funny. Tssss.

We then watch a clip of Pulp Fiction to examine shots. "Its a really crap film, he says," now this annoys me but the teacher says "we don't use tat language in this class."
"Its Really......Bad,"
"No its not that you can't criticize something but you have to back it up."
"Ok then in my Professional opinion its a crap film cos I got bored."
Excuse me? One of the best films of all time. Voted by COUNTLESS critics. REVILUTIONARY in the way it was made. Now i know im supposed to accept people's opinions but this is pushing it.


Now in a world in which Scary Movie is the best film ever and Pulp Fiction is crap "cos I got bored," is not a world i belong in. Someone bye me a rocket.

The Jeremy Kyle Show

Jeremy Kyle, where to start? this man annoys me. He apparently helps people's lives. I thought WOW if he can do that in just an hour with his lack of social skills  and turned someones life around think of what i can do to the less fortunate people in my community. 

So i went into the estate round the corner and told people that they were "pathetic," and "not worthy of inhaling the air i breath......" 

It didn't seem to work the way i hoped. Especially knowing that its bonfire season and their pockets are filled with explosives. 

After my encounter i seemed to realise that i didnt have what Jeremy has a clapping audience. I brought my little brother along. He now says he'll never leave the house again.

At this point i was a bit annoyed! I had no idea what made Mr Kyle so succsesful"changing people's lives,"so i thought i'd overview his show. 

People go on a show, Jeremy makes them look stupid by shouting, Jeremy uses DNA or a Lie Detector to continue making them look stupid. Mum wouldnt let me have a lie detector so I decided to give my contributions to society a rest.

All that I gained from this is that I figured out that if a angry man shouts at chavs, good TV is made.

If thats good TV someone shoot me.

Gareth Malone's Extrodinary School for Boys

Im sitting down watching "Gareth Malone's Extraordinary School for Boys." What on earth is this stupid man trying too prove? This man waltz into a school  and starts completely slagging off all of these essex boys as they merely struggle to keep with the girls at just about anything slightly educational. So what exactly will make this better .Taking time out of lessons to give them a little help and support? No apparently the best way to do this  is too completely segregate them from the girls and give them complete time of lessons to play football, bulldog and cut down trees.  Of course everyone knows  that this will defiantly help boys improve their reading.


But overall the thing that annoys me the absolute most is that not only do they waltz in and completely ignore the girls in the school but the only boys that this insignificant show focuses on are the boys who spend more time on their Xboxes than they do breathing. Im sure that at least one or two of the boys in this class have at least enough talent not to confuse the words Bead & Bread. Why are they completely cut out of this show altogether. Why do they have to just pay attention too these failures rather than praise a committed slightly able student. This really annoys me.


And any of you may say "Well he's a really amazing man, and what he does is really uplifting. And everything he does is 100% real, not staged one bit." WRONG. All Completely staged. "Well how do you know that Complaining Guy?" Well the fact is that i know Mr  Malone more that you know. I In-fact was a part of Gareth's past project "Gareth Malone Goes To Glyndebourne." Im not saying that he's terrible, that he has no talent or anything like that . In my opinion i think that what he does has amazing moments and sometimes he can be brilliant. My problem is TWENTY TWENTY STUDIOS! The company that backs all of his shows. Every single show is completely and utterly staged. The Show i was a part of suggests that their was two choruses. WRONG AGAIN! Their were three ! One of them was cut out of the show altogether. Why? Their wasn't enough time XD Now don't get me wrong ! If they dont have enough time. Theirs nothing they can do.  All that i would like is  a little recognition. I believe that what we acheived in this opera was an amazing achievement and to me it was one of the most amazing expierences of my life. I dont want camera time. I don't want to be stopped in the street because im on tv. I would just like some recognition. The least they could have done was to state in the intro "Gareth will be mentoring THREE choruses NOT TWO." But do they have the decensy to do that? Apparently not.




Why do I Bother?